The Power Of Self Care Rituals
I don’t know about you, but as I get older I feel more and more overwhelmed with the things that I need to do, and the things I wish I was doing.
There is plenty to unpack in this first sentence, like society norms, limiting beliefs, and expectations, and each one of these needs to be addressed individually, but today we are addressing something else: our need for rest.
Life is full of responsibilities and the more we are surrounded by people, our kids, family, friends, co-workers, our calendar get’s full of things that are important to everyone, and we end up forgetting that for us to be able to show up for the people we love, we must take care of our health, both physical and mental (which I like to call soul health = mental health and emotional health).
With such a full life, how can we find the time for that? I’m glad you asked! Today I want to share with you how I found the power of self care rituals.
I’m a mother of 3 kids, my oldest is 8 and my youngest is 3, that alone makes my life a beautiful chaos. I’m married and my husband travels often for work. My parents live 17 hours away, I’m the CEO of Eden Daily Essentials and I volunteer in my community weekly. All these things are very important for me, but after few years running around like a lunatic I found myself physically hurting and mentally exhausted. One day I decide I was going to get my nails done and I had a panic attack in the salon because I was spending precious work time (while my kids were at school) getting my nails done.
Truth is that we “should” all over ourselves trying to glorify the busy-ness, dedication to others and self denial, but we forget that when we are over worked, over committed and under rested, we have very little to give to the people we love the most. Finding time to take care of our health is not selfish. Giving our bodies and minds the rest it needs propel us to serve others and live out our purpose in this world.
So how did I found the time? Here are my steps:
1st.: I didn’t find it, I MADE the time. Let me tell you a mind blowing truth: You own your time. Many of you are thinking now “no I don’t. I have a 9-5 job (or worse 12 hours/day job)”, but truth is, unless you are a slave, you agreed to this job. You chose to take this job in exchange for a “X” amount of money, so you are still in control. Changing the mindset on time is very important not only for self care, but for life in general.
2nd.: I defined what is important and what rituals & routines I needed to put in place. For my physical body, I wanted to workout 3 times a week. Also, I know that what I eat impact my health. And last, I need to sleep at least 7 and a half hours every night, non-negotiable. For soul care, I know spending time in scripture makes me happy, so every morning I spend 15 minutes in scripture with a cup of coffee before I need to get the kids ready for work. I also have 15 minutes after I get home from work and the kids get home from school that I sit in the couch and just rest my mind. Last, I decided I would do my nails and lashes, that makes me feel good. These things are the ones I choose for this season of my life. It may change in 6 months… The important thing here is not that you do these things, but that you define what YOUR things are, what gives YOUR body and soul (mind & emotions) the rest YOU need.
3rd.: I made it automatic. Once you understand that you can make time, and know what gives you life, you can put your routines in automatic. For example, I know I won’t go to the gym, and as I want to workout, I download an app, got an elliptical very cheap online, and committed to run for 30 minutes on M-W-F at 6 am. Do I love it? NO. It’s probably my most dreaded time of the day, but I know it’s important for my health so I do it. Also, I signed up to a local vegetable delivery and on Sundays I buy weekly fresh fruits and lean meat for the week. I only get things that are easy to cook as I’m not great at cooking either. For my 15 minutes in the morning and in the afternoon of soul care, I just do it. When I get my cup of coffee I know that’s what I’m going to do. Same when we get home from school pickup, I get the kids snack and then it’s my 15 minutes mental health time while they eat. For my lashes, I put on the calendar every other week, and I do my own nails at home on Wednesday nights after the kids go to sleep. I set up deliveries, put on the calendar, and just decided I was going to do it. And it works.
Now your homework is to find what will recharge YOU, what deliveries YOU need to set up, and what routines YOU need to implement. Once you start doing your self care rituals, you will feel so much happier, ready to live in the present, actually enjoy your activities and time with the people you love.